


The Struggle of The Hypocalcemic

by lonely_traveler



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Gen, Helpful!Aaron, Is Pre-Slash even a thing anyore, Perceptive!Aaron, Pre-Slash, Slash if you squint, sick!Spencer, vague descriptions of substance abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-04
Updated: 2017-11-15
Packaged: 2019-01-29 04:37:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12623356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lonely_traveler/pseuds/lonely_traveler
Summary: hy·po·cal·ce·mi·anoun·MEDICINEA deficiency of calcium in the bloodstream, as evidenced by tetany (spasms of the hands and feet, muscle cramps, abdominal cramps, and overly active reflexes).Warning: There are vague descriptions of drug abuse/addiction and the withdrawals, but nothing graphic or specific.





	1. The Acceptance of Death

**Author's Note:**

> Spencer is still in recovery from the Tobias Hankel incident, and the subsequent months of addiction and chaos after. During his fight with the awful withdrawal symptoms and terrifying nightmares, he completely loses sight of certain day-to-day things that are vitally important to his health.

A certain Dr. Spencer Reid was sat at his desk, despairingly trying to work. He shook himself for the third time in the last five minutes, trying to clear his head. His fingers were clenched around his pen and he found himself breathing harshly. He took a deep breath - well, he tried to - and then exhaled heavily to try and calm himself down.

_It's just a withdrawal symptom, Spencer. Get a hold of yourself. You are NOT going to have an anxiety attack in the middle of the bullpen._

He sighed and once more shook himself, fruitlessly trying to rid his muscles of the odd tension in them that had been building for the last week or so. His fingers were clenched around his pen unnaturally tight, and for as much as he tried he couldn't loosen them.

_What the heck?_

Okay, now Spencer was beginning to really panic. All of the various possible maladies he could have contracted were running through his head, each one getting worse than the last.

_Am I having a panic attack? What if I'm in a stress-induced breakdown? Wait, hasn't my back been hurting lately? What if I damaged my spinal chord on a recent case? Could it be a focal onset seizure? What if-_

Spencer stood himself up stiffly, cutting off his thoughts abruptly. He gave a weak smile and an awkward, hand-clenched wave to Morgan when his gaze snapped towards him at the sudden movement. Then, as quickly as possible (which wasn't very quick, in his condition) he left the room, headed to the restroom to sort himself out, privately.

_Or die, privately._ His mind supplied, oh-so-helpfully.

That thought got his heart racing even harder than before and he pushed himself a little faster to get somewhere away from prying eyes. He finally made it to the bathroom and started wheezing and gasping for air.

_Since when did it get so hard to breathe?_

 

 

 

The Behavioral Analysis Unit's Chief, Aaron Hotchner, looked at the Unit's resident genius carefully. 

_What's going on with him?_

Now, if said Unit Chief didn't happen to be the best profiler in the whole of the FBI - and he was - Hotch would've assumed that Reid was having a panic attack. Tightly clenched hands, nervous fidgeting, irregular and elevated breathing; it all pointed to a panic attack. But there was one thing throwing Hotch's perfect-profiling-prowess off. Reid's expression. It showed almost no sign of panic, definitely not enough to be an attack. Now, granted, the doctor certainly wasn't dumb and could most likely successfully hid the signs of a panic attack, but his expression wasn't blank. It showed bewilderment and annoyance blatantly.

_Since when does Boy Wonder get bewildered? Didn't the kid know everything?_

Annoyance was understandable. The man was captured by a serial killer and then was drugged against his will, causing a major addiction with awful, awful withdrawal symptoms. How unfair was that?

Suddenly Reid stood up with an uncomfortably stiff posture and he shuffled awkwardly out of the bullpen. 

_That's odd. He didn't even leave his pen on the desk, it's still clenched in his hand, even tighter than it was before... Hmm..._

Aaron narrowed his eyes even further and stood up, meeting JJ's eyes as she looked up at him questioningly at his sudden movement. Her eyebrow flickered and she stood as he walked over to her to speak with her privately.

"JJ, listen." Hotch started quietly. "Did Reid seem like he was acting strangely to you?"

JJ's expression immediately grew concerned at the mention of her friend. She reached up to rub her ear in consternation as her brow furrowed even further. Eventually, she looked up to meet Hotch's equally as concerned gaze.

"Yeah, I had assumed it was a panic attack or withdrawal symptoms. I just didn't want to ask in case I triggered something when there was nothing there. He's still pretty sensitive about the whole thing; I'm trying to give him a little space where he needs it, y'know?" She didn't usually get this emotionally vulnerable at work, she liked to compartmentalize everything that happened at work and never touch it with any sort of emotional processing. But when it came to what happened to her Spence, she couldn't help it.

Hotch watched as one of his most composed agents started to tear up and he sighed sadly, nodding his thanks to JJ's observation.

"I'm going to go check on him. I had the same assumptions at first, but I think it's something else. He didn't look panicked or like he was craving, he just looked kind of annoyed and confused. That has me more concerned than a panic attack or withdrawals, awful though those both may be."

JJ winced. "Well I hope he's okay. Let me know how it goes?"

The Unit Chief nodded, giving her a sympathetic look and a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder before walking away to find Reid.

 

 

 

Reid laid on the bathroom floor, his hands clenched involuntarily before him. His breathing hadn't gotten any worse, but it certainly had not gotten any better.

_What is happening to me?_

The genius' mind returned to it's break-neck-speed racing as it tried to figure out what was putting Spencer through this actual hell so someone could _please_ , just make it _stop_. 

_Hyponatremia, tonic epilepsy, Nerotizing Vasculit- oh shit. The medicine._

The realization hit Spencer like a freight train.

_Oh shit, oh shit, ohshitohshitohshitohshit_

Now Spencer was really starting panic, not helping his breathing situation at all. How could he forget? He took it everyday, as he had been for two years now. What happened? What change- _Oh._

_Damn. That's another thing that bastard's taken from me._

The Dilaudid addiction had distracted him from taking his calcium deficiency pills, and now he was experiencing a condition named Hypocalcemia, or low blood calcium. Slowly, he tried to stand and pull his phone out of his pocket but he could hardly move, his muscles spasms had gotten that bad. The doctor cursed aloud and fell back, defeated, on the floor.

_3 Phd's, 3 BA's, an IQ of 187, FBI Agent, and this is how I die. Sitting on a bathroom floor, my body about to asphyxiate itself because I forgot to take a few pills._

Spencer shook his head bitterly, bringing his clenched hands up to his eyes, trying to wipe them as the tears welled up and threatened to spill. It was getting harder and harder to breathe and his legs were starting to seize up as well. The tears fell from his eyes and started rolling down his face.

_Of all things, this is how I die? How disgustingly poetic._

Dr. Spencer Reid shut his eyes as his vision went blurry and dark. His chest was heaving, and he was getting dizzy from lack of oxygen. He let the tears flow as he accepted his death and slumped against the bathroom floor; unconscious.


	2. "Anytime, Spencer."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron races with Reid to the hospital. Will they make it in time?

Hotch raced down the corridor. After talking to JJ, he had realized what was likely to be wrong.

_The calcium deficiency, of course._

The Unit Chief cursed his luck as he exited the third bathroom that he had run into that had proved to be significantly lacking in young geniuses. Hotch pinched at the bridge of his nose and exhaled in and uncharacteristically stressed manner.

_Damnit, even when he's dying that kid is still as elusive as ever._

Moving on quickly, he ran to the fourth farthest bathroom from the bullpen. He'd memorized the building plan years ago, so he would know. It was also the least used as it was the farthest from each unit HQ in the building. Hotch burst into the bathroom, slamming the door open with a _BANG_.

"Oh thank god, Spencer."

His words rung out through the bathroom with a slight echo. The genius didn't reply. Hotch rushed over to his side and grabbed his shoulder, shaking it slightly.

"Reid! Reid, wake up!"

Another shake to the shoulder with no response. Hotch checked his pulse. It was there, but weaker than was healthy. He also checked Reid's breathing and it was frighteningly weak and labored. The Unit Chief mumbled a few choice words under his breath and he quickly pulled out his phone, flipping it open and dialing 911.

"911, what is your emergency?"

Aaron pinched the phone between his shoulder and sat Reid up, tilting his head up to try and ease his breathing just slightly.

"Hello, yes. My friend has a calcium deficiency and I believe is experiencing a severe case of hypocalcemia; he's barely breathing and is unconscious. He's supposed to be taking calcium supplements, but by the looks of it hasn't been taking them. We are at the Quantico FBI Headquarters. "

"Okay sir, an ambulance is being sent your way. It should arrive in 4 minutes."

"Thank you." He hung up the call and immediately made another one to Gideon.

"I just called an ambulance for Reid, I need you to lead the medics to the farthest bathroom from the bullpen. I can't explain right now, sorry. I'll call back when he's stable."

Hotch hung up the phone and flipped it closed, placing it haphazardly back in his pocket as he turned back to the doctor. "C'mon Spencer, hang in there." He mumbled, settling on the floor and keeping Reid's head up.

 

 

 

As Reid returned to consciousness slowly, he heard his name being mumbled. Slowly his eyes fluttered open and saw that someone was sitting next to him.

_Wait, is that Hotch?_

Spencer's head jerked at the realization and he gasped as his lungs were temporarily released from their own hold at the sudden position change, interrupting his overactive neurotransmitters for a second. A scratchy "H-Hotch..." made its way out of Reid's throat before he sucked in another breath as his throat started to close again. The tears resumed their path down his face. Spencer couldn't help it, he was just so _scared._

Aaron's gaze snapped over to him when he moved and he hushed Reid after he had tried to speak. "Save your breathe, just rest. The ambulance is on its way." He noted the onset of tears that made their way down the younger man's face. He just barely held himself back from wiping them away. Spencer's lips quivered slightly and he squeezed his eyes shut. He was scared, so scared. Hotch looked on in sympathy and didn't refrain this time, holding the younger man's face in both hands and wiping the tears with his thumbs.

"Hey, it'll be alright. The EMT's and paramedics should be in the building right now, you're going to make it. I know it's scary, but just hang on. They're probably going to have to inject you with a supplement shot, but I promise it isn't a narcotic. You know it isn't, in that brilliant mind of yours. It will help, trust me." Before he even noticed it, one of Hotch's hands had moved to a reassuring caress in Reid's hair.

Spencer gave a weak smile and relaxed a little bit, allowing the last few tears to escape and get out of his system. Those were wiped away as well, but then they both heard yelling coming from the hallway.

"Hotch! They're here for Spencer!" Hotch cursed and gently let go of Reid, glancing over to the young man as he tried to give a reassuring gaze. Hotch leaped up and opened the door to the bathroom.

"In here!"

Medics rushed in with a stretcher, putting Spencer on it. Hotch held the door as they lifted him and exited. He rushed ahead of them, opening the doors and leading them out of the building the quickest way. They successfully loaded Reid in the ambulance and Hotch stepped in as well, letting the doors get shut behind him. The paramedics got to work, getting the prepared instruments and tapping them around his ears, making his face twitch, and then examining his feet and hands, which also twitched and remained clenched. The results were obvious and the EMT immediately began prepping to inject a prepared magnesium and calcium shot into Reid's arm. Reid's eyes practically popped out of his head when he realized what was happening. Hotch could see the sheer terror in Spencer's gaze so he stepped forward and grabbed his hands. 

"It'll be okay, Reid. It's just some calcium and magnesium, you won't feel anything, I promise." Spencer smiled gratefully but worriedly at him before letting his head fall back. Despite the reassurances, he couldn't bare to make himself watch. The paramedic didn't waste a second even as the exchange went on, sticking the needle in Reid's arm just as his head fell back.

Within seconds the shot was in effect and Reid's entire body visibly slumped while his chest heaved, finally able to get a substantial amount of oxygen . The EMT standing nearby strapped an oxygen mask on him and also stuck an IV in his arm. Reid's hands relaxed in Hotch's and he squeezed them in thanks. Neither of them bothered to let go.

With the adrenaline wearing off, Spencer again realized the gravity of the situation and - much to his chagrin - his eyes started to tear up. He squeezed Hotch's hands once more and then reluctantly released them, bringing them up to cover his face (and face mask) as he shed more tears from his system. His eyes dried up fairly quickly and he returned his hands to his sides. One warm hand was placed just above his hand on his wrist, making him shift his head to look at Aaron and smile weakly. To his immense surprise, not that he showed it, Hotch smiled back. If only slightly.

They pulled into the hospital and Aaron patted Reid on the arm before stepping out of the way of the EMT's as they got to work unloading Spencer and getting him into a proper hospital bed for a little more thorough care. He pulled out his phone and called Gideon.

"He's going to be okay. We just arrived at the hospital. One of the paramedics informed me that they were just going to run a blood test and see how Reid is reacting to the shot they administered before they stick a drip in him and then the team will probably be allowed to see him."

Gideon thanked him for the update and informed Hotch that he and the rest of the team were all in the hospital's waiting room.

 

 

Hotch made his way over to where he knew the rest of the team was, completely lost in thought.

_I wonder how Spencer's holding up. I know he's probably beating himself up for forgetting, even though it's not his fault. I should tell Jason, he always knows what to say._

He opened the door and walked over to the tense FBI agents. "He's going to be okay, guys. Relax." All the agents' heads snapped up except Gideon's. Aaron knew he'd made a mistake because as soon as the words left his mouth, he was overwhelmed with an onslaught of questions.

"Is he okay?"

"What happened?"

"Is it because of Hankel? I swear to god if it is I will resurrect that son of a bi-" Hotch cut that last question off with a glare, and then a gesture around them to the various awake or sleeping people who were also waiting for a loved one. Morgan had enough grace to wince and look contrite. Hotch nodded at him in response. "Yes, he's fine now. A little scared, but physically he'll be okay." Hotch raised his hand up before more questions assaulted him.

"He has a blood calcium deficiency that reappeared recently from his childhood. Don't bring it up. Anyway, the calcium deficiency caused a condition called hypocalcemia, which in Reid's case was very severe."

Gideon paled visibly with a murmured "My god" as he rubbed at his face and stared into the distance, an obvious sign of his stress level as he realized the severity of what could have happened to the doctor.

Morgan's gaze snapped over to Gideon at his murmur, "Why? What is it?"

Gideon slowly turned to face Morgan. "Hypocalcemia is a blood calcium deficiency that can result in severe tetany, muscle spasms, and seizures. In Reid's case I assume it was the tetany and muscle spasms, as those can cause the diaphragm to seize up, essentially making the person asphyxiate themselves." The rest of the team repeated his earlier sentiment and paled as well.

Hotch nodded, confirming Gideon's statement. JJ worried her lip between her teeth before speaking, "Well I'm glad he's okay. Do you know when we can go see him?" She asked.

"I have no idea. The EMT's and Paramedics seemed to think he would be fine, but there's no telling what damage could've been done to his brain while he lacked proper oxygen."

Penelope sniffed loudly as she tried to stop her tears, making Morgan wrap his arm around her in comfort. "He's gonna be okay, baby girl. It's our Reid, he always pulls through." She nodded, face still contorted with tears as she laid her head on his chest.

A nurse came through the door, "Aaron Hotchner?"

 

 

 

Spencer woke up, completely and utterly confused.

He looked down at himself. Hospital gown, hospital room, IV...

_But I feel fi- ah, okay. Yeah, there it is._

He leaned his head back with a sigh, groaning and brushing a hand through his hair. The doctor looked around a little and saw a glass of water, which he picked up and sipped from. Just then, the door opened and his head snapped over, his entire body tensing painfully. Hospitals set him on edge.

"Ah, Dr. Reid! How are you feeling?" It was a nurse coming to check on him. Relaxing slightly, he replied. "I, uh, I feel alright."

The nurse looked unconvinced. "Well, now that you're awake, I'll call in your doctor to check you up so you can get out of here." He nodded in thanks before she started to leave with a polite smile. "Wait!" The nurse poked her head back in the room. Spencer continued, "Would it be possible to have my health care proxy in here as well? I know his services aren't needed anymore, but it would comfort me to know exactly what went on." She nodded before leaving.

A minute or so later - two minutes and 23 seconds specifically - the doctor and Spencer's health care proxy, Hotch, walked through the door. 

"Hello Dr. Reid, how are you feeling?" Reid shifted uncomfortably. "I'm, um.. Fine, I guess." The doctor nodded. "Well, hopefully we can get you checked out to make sure you really are and we'll be able to let you go today." Reid nodded his understanding.

Hotch looked over to him with his signature Professionally Inquisitive Unit Chief Look™, making Reid squirm under his gaze. "Reid, what did you need me in here for?" Spencer glanced at the doctor uneasily before looking back at him. "I just... I wanted to make sure..." He looked back at the doctor. Quickly getting the hint, the doctor stepped out for a moment, allowing Spencer to be free with his thoughts. Hotch's eyebrow increased in elevation, stepping over towards Reid's hospital bed.

"Seriously, Reid. What is it?"

Spencer had the decency to blush in mild embarrassment. "I-I'm just scared that they... that they, you know. Injected me w-with-" He cut himself off, crossing his arms and clenching his jaw uncomfortably.

"Oh Spencer..." Hotch sighed and sat next to Reid's bed. "I can't imagine what you're going through emotionally right now, but I can promise you, that magnesium and calcium supplement is the _only_ thing I let them give you. No narcotics, nothing else. I promise." Without thinking he grabbed the young doctor's hand with both of his own. Spencer smiled at the gesture, slightly squeezing back as his body relaxed fully at the knowledge. 

"Thank you, Aaron. I know the hospital staff would've assured me, but I just don't think I could bring myself to fully believe them." Hotch gave him some semblance of a smile. "Of course, Spencer. If you want, I could have them bring all the papers I signed for approved medicines...?"

Spencer shook his head. "No, that's alright. Thank you, but I know you wouldn't lie to me about something like this." Hotch nodded. Reid looked away from his gaze suddenly, dark thoughts creeping into his mind at the silence. "Hotch... what- um, what if you hadn't followed me?"

"JJ would have, she noticed too."

"But, what if she hadn't either?"

"Someone would have, Reid. Believe it or not, you are a valuable addition to our team and people care about you and pay attention when you're not feeling well. And that's not just because of your brains, Spencer." The younger man nodded in response, bringing his hand up to brush an imaginary hair back in place.

"I was just so... scared, Aaron." His voice cracked embarrassingly during the declaration, but neither man noticed.

"I know, Spencer. I know. And I am so sorry you had to go through that." The _'all of it'_ went unsaid, but was mutually understood. 

"But, just now, what happened with the calcium deficiency, that was my fault, wasn't it?" Hotch shook his head.

"No, and it never will be. You are doing your best to stay afloat right now, and if that means you screw up and somebody else has to save you every once in a while, then that's okay." Spencer smiled gratefully before giggling quietly. Hotch smiled at the sound. "What are you giggling at?" Reid giggled louder, "It's just, you sound exactly like Morgan and Gideon when they think I'm feeling insecure or something during cases." 

Aaron rolled his eyes and let out a laugh before standing up. "Sure I do. I'm going to go call the doctor back in." The younger of the two laughed before putting an effort into quieting himself.

Reid's doctor came back in the room at Hotch's gesture. "Okay, shall we proceed?" Reid nodded and Hotch stepped away from his bed to make room for the doctor.

 

 

 

"Reid!"

Spencer smiled. "Hey Morgan."

"How're you feeling, pretty boy?" Reid shook his head at the nickname, especially while he was in a hospital gown, probably looking like complete shit.

"I'm pretty sore, actually. Also, I don't think that nickname is exactly applicable right now." Spencer saw Hotch shake his own head at his statement. "You look fine, Reid. Now everybody out, Reid has to get a final check so he can get out of here himself. Out!" Hotch opened the door, ushering the team out.

Reid's doctor came back in, thanking Hotch for corralling the unruly team. Spencer grabbed a cookie from the side table full of treats that Garcia had left.

"So, Dr. Reid, we have one final blood test to run before we prescribe you a stronger calcium supplement to send you home with." The patient in question nodded his consent and the proceeded with the exam. 

Once it was over and Reid had gone and changed back into his day-old clothes, he pulled Hotch aside in the hospital room. 

"Hey, I just wanted to say thank-"

"No, Spe-"

"No, seriously! On top of saving my life, you helped me so much through the process when I was scared and unsure, and you really did anything you could to help me feel better and I want to thank you for that. I couldn't have asked for more and I'm really grateful. So thank you, Aaron, for everything." 

The extent of what 'everything' meant also went unsaid, but again mutually understood. 

Hotch smiled and nodded. "Of course, Spencer. I'm glad you're okay."

Reid smiled, "Me too." Suddenly the younger man turned to the unit chief and surprised him with a hug and a whispered "Really, thank you..." Said unit chief quickly reciprocated the hug, whispering back a reply. "Anytime, Spencer."

**Author's Note:**

> "If you're struggling with problems or issues and you don't take the time to look after yourself, this will affect your ability to do well for others. [...] It is not noble or loving to constantly sacrifice your well-being for that of others. People who love you would never want that from you." - Akiroq Brost
> 
>  
> 
> I hope you're enjoying the story! This will be a rather short installment, probably only one or two chapters more after this. Please feel free to point out any errors that I missed, this isn't beta'd but I tried my best :)


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